Friday, June 8, 2012

Brady Von Pooplestein

I follow my cousin’s blog. It’s alright I guess. If you have nothing better to do, you can check it out….. http://thesongsstuckinmyhead.blogspot.com/  I noticed his profile was a little short. I had the opportunity (if you can call it that) to work with him for about a year, during this time, I learned more about Brady than I ever wanted to know. I think it’s only fitting I release the first edition of his profile for his blog. As of now, his profile says the following; “I love Hi-Chew candy. I have a scar on the side of my head. My mom thinks I'm cool. I once played Nintendo for 27 hours straight. I'm an Aires. I'm a little bit "meh" about long walks on the beach.”
This was what he’d originally written, I love watching reruns of Silver Spoons and Who’s the Boss at 1:00 in the morning. My favorite color is poop yellow-brown. My favorite Golden Girl was Blanche, because she’s dead sexy. When I’m not blogging I’m searching for jobs as a Domino’s Pizza Delivery man. I’m in the middle of starting my own reality show called “What to do after your Theater Degree fails to get you anywhere in life.”  The first episode will show me walking into the homeless shelter and introducing myself as Chuck Norris and the people believing it because they don’t know any better due to living on the street. Many homeless people have experienced happiness because they believe they have met a real celebrity and gotten a body part autographed by him. I secretly stalk Ben Folds and send him love letters sprayed with Lemon Pledge then folded into the shape of a heart. I am currently going through a 12 step program for my addiction to glow worms. Step 1 is my favorite; “I admit I am powerless over my addiction to glow worms, I recognize my life has become unmanageable because of this.” My all-time favorite girl band is Wilson Phillips, their song “Release Me” changed my life and I will forever hold on for one more day because of them. My mom suffered 37 hours of labor with me because my head is so big; this caused my right thumb to be slightly shorter than my left. We call this thumb Deb and I inject it with growth hormones once a day hoping it will grow to the size of a normal thumb. It is my goal in life to help my favorite cousin Meghann get on the Ellen Show or meet Justin Bieber.
There are a couple things I had to edit out because Brady went a little R-Rated on us, and my blog is a family blog. I’m happy I’ve gotten this off my chest because the world needs to know of his real aspirations as well as his struggles in life.  
Thanks for reading, please send money.
Meg