My blog is slacking. I have nothing funny or demeaning to write about. Want to know why? Because I'm going bald. That's right, bald. Like, Britney Spears gone crazy and shaves her head bald, bald. (That could possibly be a little dramatic.)
I have no idea why, but about three weeks ago, I noticed the part on my head looked like the gap between Madonna’s two front teeth, and of course, my ever so loving mom, had to point it out and laugh. Mom: "Holy crap Meg! When did your part become so wide?" Me: "I dunno mom, probably about the same time my a** did!" Thanks for always pointing out my flaws so lovingly, mom. One day I’ll tell the story of the time I got Bell’s Palsy and my mom just laughed at me while half my face was paralyzed.
If you ever learn anything from me, (which you probably won't) at least remember this; when something is wrong with you, DO NOT GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS!!! At this point, I'm convinced I have a problem with my thyroid, I’m in stage two kidney failure, pregnant, stressed, in shock, just had a baby, recovering from a major surgery, and have syphilis.
I got about 5 vials of blood drawn today. I know that's nothing, but when you're a wimp like me, it's a big deal. There are a few symptoms I can cross off my list. Pregnancy (no explanation needed) I'm pretty sure I didn't have a baby any time in the past 7 years, no surgery since the back in 2010, and STD free for 28 years. I can’t really rule out kidney failure, we all know I consume more diet coke in a day than the cast of Jersey Shore does vodka. So I'm assuming it’s my thyroid, or stress. I've decided to send my Dr. a bill for this one since I did all the research!
