I should have been a Paparazzi....

We all have things we’d love to change about ourselves. I hate my nose, my thighs, my incredibly bad vision, thinning hair, and the fact my spine curves the opposite direction, making it impossible to come remotely close to touching my toes. All of these things I nitpick day in and day out, wishing for inconsequential changes to increase my looks and appearance.  

On rough days, when I’m feeling really down about my self-esteem, I people watch at a local Wal-Mart or downtown gas station, and pick out the people who have it worse than me. Like the 350 lb. woman who chooses to wear skin colored spandex, so tight her fat rolls could be mistaken for Seamore the walrus at Sea World. Or the man who just can’t give up the mullet he’s so desperately hanging onto, despite the male pattern baldness and mousy/greasy- party in the back. What about the 79 year old lady who still thinks she’s a 16 year old high school student, and spends more time in a tanning bed than the nursing home, all while rocking her True Religions and halter top? And how about the mom in mis-matched sweat pants and no bra, who hasn’t put on makeup or washed her hair all weekend, yet attempts to stroll into Target and act like she owns the place! Oh wait, that’s me.

In all honesty, (not that you didn’t know this already…) I’m kind of a jerk. Making fun of poor innocent people, when realistically, I’m just as white trash; I just weigh less, tan less, dress more grungy, and have more hair (for now at least… seeing how hair loss 2013 is still in full force….) It got me thinking, I know how many secret pictures I’ve taken (because I'm DAMN good at it) of overweight, crappy dressed, 80’s hair styled people, so who’s taking pictures of me?? And WHERE are they going??

I searched POWM.com high and low, and as of yet, I’ve not made it to that site. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before karma will come and bite me in the you know what, as punishment for pointing and laughing and pretending to text while really I’m snapping a picture of the weirdies out there. So please, be on the lookout for me at my worst on the intrawebs!

I could turn this post into a Full House teaching moment, and get all sentimental about how we shouldn’t judge and we shouldn’t mock those who are inferior to us, because we ALL have our flaws.... but that’s just not my style. But I will say one thing, if you are the 350 lb. woman in skin colored spandex, I would KILL for your self confidence!!

Please send money, and maybe some Victoria secrets gift cards to help with the bra sitch….

xoxo-Meg