Don't Hate Me for Having this Idea BEFORE You!!

I’d like to think of myself as having a little more class than standing outside with a cardboard sign that says “Will work for Food” written on it. I could even take it to the extreme and put my two kids in ratty old clothes and shoes two sizes too small and have them stand with me and write “2 kids to feed, I swear this money isn’t for booze” at the bottom of the sign. But, like I said I’m a little more classy than that. At least that’s what I tell myself.  I’m really not even desperate, I have a job, I’m just tired of living paycheck to paycheck. So the thought of panhandling has crossed my mind. However, I’m pretty sure that pretending to be a vagabond is frowned upon if you’re employed and have a place to live. See… I learned back in 2002 on a trip to San Francisco, that there are people who earn the right to sit out on the streets and beg for money. For example, men who paint their entire bodies in gold and pretend to be a statue just to jump out and scare someone, or  people who hide behind fake shrubbery and chase you down to scare you etc. Both things I witnessed on the great Pier 49 that trip. To me, that is comical, and I will gladly throw a dollar or two in those mens bucket. Then there are the un classy beggars with cardboard signs who should literally be gathered up by authorities and taken to the local Wal-Mart with all the other misfits in this world. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing more fun than a trip to Wal-Mart, and their prices really are hard to beat, but we’ve all wasted countless hours on company time searching through the pages of peopleofwalmart.com, for our own entertainment.

There's a few things you should know about me. First off, I wasn't blessed with the athletic ability of Michelle Wie, although I do enjoy golfing, it turns into a wild game of "who can hit a goose a** first" or “how many ‘that’s what she said’ comments can I make this round?” It’s obvious I’ll never be a professional golfer with my lack of seriousness on the course. Secondly, as a Kassing, it’s just not in my nature to go back to school and rummage up any motivation to actively seek a successful career for my future. We survive solely off our charm and if that doesn't work, we use our ability to baffle people with our bullshi*. Hard work and dedication are out of the picture. And last, I personally thought I'd have made a great replacement to Oprah, but Rosie beat me to the punch. And I can’t really compete with someone like Rosie, she could kick my butt in half a second if I even tried to fight her for the job. I think I have the wits to replace Ellen if she ever quits, but anyone who scares the crap out of Kelly Osborne with a ridiculously large version of Donkey Kong- mid interview- deserves a lifelong spot on prime time t.v. And let’s face it, I’m a horrible dancer.

So... where does that leave me? I want the luxuries of the rich, famous, and talented, but as mentioned above, I'm clearly not heading down those roads anytime soon. My ultimate goal is to get rich doing absolutely nothing but writing on this blog. “Why not write a book?” you ask… well, that requires a lot of work, and if you remember as confirmed earlier in this post, I’m just not cut out for that.  This is the only solution feasible for my work ethic. Solution equals this:  I have 400+ ”friends” on Facebook, if they all read my blog and at least laugh once, they should send it to their friends and their friends friends etc etc. so they can do the same, then the whole thing will blow up, go viral on the web, people will pay me to advertise on this thing, and before you know it, I'll be the next Rebecca Black, making a million dollars for some dumb idea because people can't help but pass along useless forms of entertainment and say: "Look at this girl?? She's crazy! I can't stop watching/reading this stuff!"  Yes I realize this is not exactly a realistic goal, and I'm ok with that. At the end of the day if all I've done is created a blog, well, that's one more thing I've accomplished in life. And so, in the mean time, I'll share a few adventures of my life and dream about what could happen if I actually had the ability to make money for my thoughts, and hope to bring a smile to someone's face, even it if it just from indigestion! This my friends... Is my way of Panhandling with Class!