Royal Shmoyal: Is the wedding over yet??

I don’t quite understand why there is so much publicity about this Royal Wedding. First of all, we live in the United States, last I heard, this event was taking place in London. (not that I know where that is) So why are they flooding our precious celebrity gossip magazines with pictures of Will and Kate, and her all too much blue wardrobe?? Those spaces should be limited to the people who have a direct impact on the readers…. I need my Lohan fix!! What’s going on with Britney? MICHAEL JACKSONS DEAD???? All things I’ve been deprived of because OK, People, USWeekly, and Star magazines have been filled with page after page of guest lists, announcements, wedding attire, menu’s and other useless wedding information pertaining to nonresident celebrities! I should be completely left in the dark about these people, instead, I know all too much!

Here is what I know of the Royal Family:

·         Diana was BFF’s with Elton John

·         She died and Elton revamped goodbye Norma Jean to say goodbye England’s Rose which TOTALLY threw me for a loop when I tried to sing along.

·         She had two kids with HUGE teeth. Will and Harry

·         Harry is in the Army or something

·         Will is marrying Kate (the one who needs to add more color into her life)

·         Fergie is not invited to the wedding

·         Neither is the real Fergie, because every time the Royal family tries to come around, her London, London bridge wanna go down.

·         Will and Kate are getting married on my dad’s birthday, personally, I think there should be more coverage on him than these two.

I apologize if any of you have purchased “Royal Wedding 2011” paraphernalia like the Will and Kate Paper Doll set pictured above and I’ve offended you for any reason. Actually, if you’re that pathetic and have bought anything like this, you deserve to be offended and know I’m laughing at you.